8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
