I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
