Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
