dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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