you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
