remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
