are you still at the devil's house?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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