i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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