making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
