the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
