We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
