i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
