Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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