He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
dude. I can hear the air.
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