"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
