Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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