he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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