she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
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