He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize