dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
