My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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