Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
the condom got lost in my hair
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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