I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
