carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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