I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
