the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
