i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
