eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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