dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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