in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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