remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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