That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
