we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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