Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
