i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
