I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
