ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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