quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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