dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
