this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize