News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
