he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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