I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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