We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
