He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
