It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
