i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Randomize
