Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
