..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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