he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
