we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize