He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
