Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize