no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize