so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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