how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
