I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
