I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
