Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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