By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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