I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Randomize
