god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
